Sunday, February 15, 2009

Reality Roundup

Time for another installment of delicious reality TV!

This week's Real Housewives was just fabulous. Truly. Where to begin...

Gina moved her daughter Cara back to Berkeley this week and on the drive up from the O.C. learned that cows smell bad. See people? Life lessons are taught in travel. While up in the great smelly north, the girls went on a mom-daughter tour of the "zoo" as Gina referred to it. To you and me, the park filled with bums. Heartwarming stuff here. Put aside all the elitist crap, and Gina is actually a decent mother. Her son Colton was as nice and helpful to her with her first foray into dating as her other son Shane is an ass. 

Vicky went on a cruise for her life coaching service, Life with Vicky. I'm pretty sure its a cult. Later, she climbs the rock wall on the ship "for success!" You can't write this stuff. 

This week Gretchen is a gold-digging whore. Perhaps I should set up a Twitter to update when she vacillates between devoted wife and GDW. Anyway, she shipped Jeff back off to the hospital for a bit of reanimation and set off for Dallas for a girls weekend with her college pals. Inane conversation abounds and the jaw-dropping moment of the show: Gretchen thinks that Jeff can and will get her pregnant.

Tamra goes to Cedar Rapids for the long-awaited reunion with her dad. Don't feel bad here folks, I didn't know where Cedar Rapids was either. Turns out its Iowa. In the process she has her first experience with an American automobile as well as with a crack house. The show said it was flood damaged, but I've been around the block once or twice. Nice try Bravo. Creepy son flirts with old and distant relative at faux-Benihana. Yum. Later, Tamra hashes out long-standing family issues with her father on a cement island in what appeared to be a river. Classy.

Anybody else noticed the continually precarious state of Lynne's boobs? The wind must not blow much in her corner of the O.C. She can be forgiven for this though, as she has been too busy getting her head nice and deep in the sand. Best quote of the show (referring to her lush daughter): "I'm sure the cigarettes weren't hers. She was probably just carrying them for someone else". Flash to daughter saying oh ya they're totally mine. Wasn't there a Brady Bunch episode about this??

Otherwise, not much to report. Amazing Race is back and good as ever. This season there is a nice white trash couple named Linda and Steve who genuinely seem to love each other. But still...When they got to the end of this leg, our lovely host Phil Keoghan could not hide his distaste for them. Awkward Kathy Griffin fodder here folks. "Linda and Steve (turns head for breath), you are the nth team. Congratulations." What they didn't show was poor Phil high-tailing his cable-knit sweater out of dodge when he got that line out. 

Until next time, 

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