Too Much, Too Late

Fall TV has been on at least a month now (more for some early-starters), and still no beat-down of what the ridiculous and wonderful world of network television has to offer this season. Yes, I've been slacking, but here it is. Too late, perhaps, for any of you to go back and hop on board with any of these gems, but let's face it, not many of them are even worth it. So without further ado...

ABC

Cougar Town

I understand that this comes from the mind that gave us Scrubs,

but I just can't wrap my head around it. The hybrid of the quirky humor that made said show popular and a plot based on middle-aged-lady-philandering has just missed the mark. The script is definitely not up to par with...anything, and I think Courtney Cox could definitely do a lot better post-Dirt. Ideally, I think this one just needs to be put out of its misery.

Eastwick

As much as I really wanted to enjoy this show, its unavoidable similarities to Charmed, as well as every witch-triumvirate Halloween movie that's ever existed (one of which it's based upon) and its Desperate Housewives-ey soap opera overtones have me unimpressed. It's visually pleasing, yes, and the actors aren't terrible, but it leaves something to be desired. It's all been done before, re-hashed too many times to be engaging or at all interesting. There's the possibility that it will get better with time, and grow into its place, but I seriously doubt it.

Modern Family

Enjoy it more than I probably should. Ridiculous and slapstick-laden at times, but it makes me laugh. Ty Burrell as the Michael Scott-worthy Phil and the loveable gays keep me coming back. Worth looking into (they're all there on Hulu).

Flash Forward

Hoping to be a replacement when Lost makes its exit next year, but it has neither the writing or the story to do so, in my opinion. A ca-razy concept slapped onto any old script does not a hit make. Well, not for me, but probably so for the rest of America who are eating this up. Don't say I didn't warn you.

FOX

Glee

I'll admit, when the pilot episode of Glee aired this spring and the

gays and choir nerds the world over were all atwitter, I decided that simply would not, and could not watch it (as Mo still hasn't, "on principle"). I was bombarded with suggestions to see it--usually accompanied by an "omg"and something along the lines of "It's soooooo good"-- which only served to strengthen my resolve. But I absentmindedly sat in while others were watching, and I can no longer deny...I liked it. To paraphrase a recent review I've read, It's gay, and it's good. Yes, it has its musical roots, but the majority of the songs are pop and fabulous (I couldn't resist). Plus, you can download the songs on iTunes (this crazy technological world we live in!), and some of us may or may not have done so. Anyway, if you're not on the wagon already, get it in gear, and join the rest of us.

NBC

Community

Haven't watched much more than the first episode, but I simply can't bring myself to go any further. Yes, I like NBC comedies generally, and yes, I like Joel McHale, but the constant self-promotion on Twitter, Chevy Chase, and the little I've watched have only proven to turn me away. If it's worth it, somebody tell me, otherwise, it's staying in the unwatched pile.

Mercy

Reminds me a lot of failed drama The Black Donnellys for some reason. Perhaps because it's main themes are a. depression b. sadness c. sadness. Iraq War veteran, beaten-down nurse rather than a doctor, New Jersey, prone to drinking...sad sad sad. I honestly don't think it's that terrible of a show, but watching this every week might make an already swine flu-paranoid, economically-concerned person need to up their dosage.

CBS

Accidentally on Purpose

Don't know why I even bothered to watch this one, because CBS + Comedy + Jenna Elfman + countless other unidentified actors = disaster. It's inane, unfunny, and painful. I give it one season. If it gets renewed, consider my faith in humanity cancelled.

The Good Wife

Better than I expected, to be honest. It's nice to see Juliana Margulies back in action (excepting that whole Canturbury's Law thing), especially if you like her. The usual legal procedural with a little twist thrown in, the fact she's the jilted wife of a philandering politician (ripped from the headlines no less). Enough fresh and new to keep some of us interested, but we'll see where it goes from here.

If it's not here, it probably missed the boat on my willing-to-give-it-a-chance week of new pilots. From what I've heard, I haven't missed anything truly remarkable, but if you think so, let me know, I'm open to suggestions.

FINAL NOTE: Hooray for ABC finally getting on the Hulu bandwagon! The constantly-changing, ever-worsening media player on their site was a real drag (not as much as other networks, but still), so thank goodness they've finally come around to the world of user-friendly online TV. And for those of us who have limited season pass space on our TiVos, or just prefer to watch our shows parked in front of a laptop, this is a dream come true.

The light(s) at the end of the spring finale-tunnel

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The Mid-Season madness continues

Here they are, the second pack of mid-season shows offered up by network TV (and just as much or more untimely than the last bunch.)  This pack is arguably not as good as the first group—about which, looking back, I may have been generous/exaggerated their merit.  So I’m gonna keep it as short and sweet as possible here, for all our sakes.
 
Surviving Suburbia
Mondays, 9:30/8:30c on ABC

It took all kinds of television survival skills to make it through this, the longest 20 minutes of television in the last month.  Who on earth thought what America needs is another life-in-the-suburbs sitcom with a laugh track?  With Bob Saget, no less.  As a grumpy suburban husband (Til’ Death, anyone?)  We all realize he’s still trying to shake the good-guy pigeonhole of Full House, but we just don’t wanna be witness to it.  And with a host of forgettable actors you recognize, but you can’t remember their names because they’ve just been on gazillions of other failed shows, it’s doubtful this show will get any better, or any more bearable.  So if you’re masochistic like that, you can watch all the mind-numbing episodes here.
Pass:  It might get cancelled.
Fail:  It might not get cancelled because there’s nothing America likes more (especially down-in-the-dumps, economically-challenged America) than a mildly funny half-hour sitcom to cheer them up and make them forget their troubles—except the “troubles” of a cushy life in the suburbs, of course.

The Unusuals
Wednesdays, 10/9c on ABC 

Everybody and their dog desperately wants to produce a successful cop show.  And for every decent attempt, there are a gazillion bad ones.  I’m convinced there’s some machine somewhere, cranking out variations on the law enforcement theme, in a desperate attempt to create a hit.  And with the minimum of 3-4 of these type of shows that appear every premiere period, I’d say the machine is broken.  The Unusuals, hoping to successfully mix things up, aims to highlight the—wait for it—unusual side of the NYPD, but ends up being no different than the rest.  There are good cops, and bad cops, and quirky cops, and quirky/out-of-the-ordinary cases (which seem to be required every third episode of any cop drama anyway).  I find it hard to see anything really original or promising with this one.  Check it out here.
Pass:  An eclectic cast, including Amber Tamblyn (Joan of Arcadia), Harold Perrineau (Lost), and Adam Goldberg (crazy roommate on Friends, along with a hundred other things).
Fail: Not that unusual, not that interesting, and not that funny.  And enough with the random police scanner voiceovers—not amusing in the slightest.

 
Parks and Recreation
Thursdays, 8:30/7:30c on NBC 

A new comedy from the creators of The Office—that beautiful gift from heaven we’ve all grown to know and love.  And if you’ve watched any of the first few episodes of P&R, you know that it’s that same kind of humor, and a similar format, with different faces (except for Rashida Jones, of course. She’s the same face).  Many have been quick to write it off as an Office clone, and that it will be necessary for it to come into its own down the line.  This may be true—can you say Leslie Knope = Michael Scott?—but you can’t deny, it’s still funny, copycat or no.  And I’m probably biased, because of my raging girl-crush on Amy Poehler, but what can I say, the woman is genius.  So thumbs up to this one, for more originality than anything else in this group, and enough of the same-ol’ to keep us comfortable and laughing.  Get your fix here, and make it snappy, because NBC can sometimes be stingy buggers with their online content.
Pass: Two words – Amy Poehler.  Ok, eight more words – from the people who brought you the Office.
Fail:  It will eventually need to break away from the shadow of The Office.

Southland (or SouthLAnd, if you prefer…get it?)
Thursdays, 10/9c on NBC
 
When you’ve watched as much television as I have, every new show seems like a grab bag of actors from a handful of other a. unsuccessful/cancelled or b. good/retired shows.  And this one seems like it’s got more than usual, but a familiar face isn’t always bad, and I do watch an irregular amount of television.  Anyway, Southland is a gritty look at life on the streets with the men and women of the LAPD.  I know, surprise surprise, another cop show. Set in Los Angeles.  Described as “gritty”.  But there’s something about this one that makes it seem a little bit more realistic.  First off, it’s more of a real-time format, and focuses on the relationships between the characters, rather than sticking with some of the formulaic tendencies of other shows that follow one case from start to finish, with exciting predictable twists along the way.  And it stands up to the “grit” description, bleeping out obscenities rather than pretending that cops don’t say certain words that start with F or S as other glossy network cop shows do (which is a pet peeve of mine).  Also, it’s set in South Central Los Angeles, and dedicates a fair amount of time to the issue of gang and drug related violence, something usually just touched upon in a few scattered episodes.  So I’m intrigued by this one, I think it has the potential to be something good.  Oh, and may I just say, I quite like the opening credits.  Not really important, but I’m mentioning it anyway.  So check it (and its intro) out here.
Pass:  Another interesting cast, and a bunch more people you’ll recognize.  The lovely Ben Mackenzie (The OC), Michael Cudlitz (Band of Brothers, Standoff), Kevin Alejandro (Shark), Tom Everett Scott (Saved), Patrick Fischler (Mad Men), Emily Bergl (Men in Trees), etc.  And enough of that “something different” to keep it going…hopefully.
Fail:  It’s still another cop show, so it’s already on thin ice.  The bleeping is something to get used to, but gives the show more of an edge. And NBC, you don’t have to pull out the LA in Southland on every commercial preview or teaser to remind us that it’s set in Los Angeles.  It’s a 50/50 shot between NY and LA to begin with, so I think we can figure it out.

Alright that’s it.  No more long-winded (and painfully late) reviews for a while, I promise.  Happy watching to you all!

Summer is coming, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Here it is, folks, the Late Spring/Summer 2009 premiere schedule (as cobbled together by me). A bit early? Maybe. But it's good to get an early start on this very long list, packed with new and returning reality shows-- big surprise-- and some new original series' that hopefully live up to (some...any) expectations. FYI, dates are subject to change, as many of these have before now. Hopefully there's something for everyone to love, hate and look forward to, so enjoy!

Entourage (HBO) – Date unknown
Leader of the Pack (HGTV) – April 26^th
Daisy of Love (VH1) – April 26^th
Pros vs. Joes (Spike), returning, Season 4 – April 27^th
Ashes to Ashes (BBCA), returning, Series 2 – May 2^nd (Sequel to British series Life on Mars, inspiration for the recently-cancelled remake on ABC)
Hidden Potential (HGTV), returning, Season 9 – May 3^rd
The IFC Project (IFC), returning, Season 2 – May 3^rd
New York Goes to Work (VH1) – May 4^th (No, New York isn’t done invading reality TV yet)
Gotti’s Way (VH1), returning, Season 2 – May 4^th
Apprentice UK (BBCA) – May 5^th
Ugly Betty (ABC), returning from hiatus – May 7^th
The Fashion Show (Bravo) – May 7^th
Charm School (VH1), returning, Season 3 – May 11^th
Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo) – May 12^th
Hotel Babylon (BBCA), returning, Season 3 – May 15^th
Beverly Hills Groomer (Animal Planet) – May 16^th
Brooke Knows Best (VH1), returning, Season 2 – May 17^th
The Bachelorette (ABC), returning, Season 5 – May 18^th
Glee (FOX) – May 19^th
So You Think You Can Dance (FOX), returning, Season 4 – May 21^st
Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? (FOX), returning – May 22^nd
Don’t Forget the Lyrics (FOX), returning from hiatus – May 22^nd
Diamonds (ABC miniseries) – May 24^th and 26^th
Here Comes the Newlyweds (ABC), returning, Season 2 – May 25^th
Jon and Kate Plus 8 (TLC), returning, Season 5 – May 25^th
Opportunity Knocks (ABC), returning from hiatus, final episodes – May 26^th
Hitched or Ditched (CW) – May 26^th (Boy does this sound like quality programming)
The Goode Family, animated (ABC) – May 27^th
Wipeout, returning (ABC) – May 27^th
The Nine (DirecTV – The 101 Network) – The Nine (Previously aired on ABC, running only one season)
Mental (FOX) – May 29^th
Pushing Daisies, returning from hiatus, final episodes (ABC) – May 30^th
Hung (HBO) – June (?)
Conan O’Brien takes over The Tonight Show (NBC) – June 1^st
I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! (NBC) – June 1^st
The Listener (NBC) – June 4^th
Army Wives (Lifetime), returning, Season 4 – June 7^th
Next Food Network Star (FOOD), returning, Season (?) – June 7^th
Meteor (NBC Miniseries) – June 7^th and 14^th
Weeds (Showtime), returning – June 8^th
Nurse Jackie (Showtime) – June 8^th
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, returning (Bravo) – June 8^th [Yay!!]
Top Chef Masters (Bravo) – June 10^th
True Blood (HBO), returning – June 14^th
NY Prep (Bravo) – June 16^th
Eli Stone (ABC), returning from hiatus, final episodes – June 20^th
Merlin (NBC) – June 21^st
Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family), returning, Season 2 – June 22^nd
Make It or Break It (ABC Family) – June 22^nd
America’s Got Talent (NBC), returning, Season 4 – June 23^rd
The Superstars (ABC) – June 23^rd
The Philanthropist (NBC) – June 24^th
The Great American Road Trip (NBC) – July 1^st
Blonde Charity Mafia (CW) – July 7^th
I Survived a Japanese Game Show (ABC) – July 8^th
Dirty Sexy Money (ABC), returning from hiatus, final episodes – July 18^th
The Storm (NBC Miniseries) – July 19^th and 26^th
Dating in the Dark (ABC) – July 20^th
Hell’s Kitchen (FOX), returning, Season 6 – July 21^st
More to Love (FOX) – July 28^th
Project Runway (Lifetime), returning – August 20th

Note from Mo: VERY excited about RHW of NJ. Promises to be a train wreck of epic proportions. Not so much about Ugly Betty. Can somebody put her out to pasture already? That's not to say I'm giving up on her. Learned my lesson there (ER anybody?).

Also, for the uninitiated, Charm School with MO-NIQUE! (yes, all of that is necessary emphasis) is perfect guilty-pleasure afternoon fare. Settle down with some microwave chicken fries and enjoy.

A Mid-Season Sampling

I’ll be honest, and admit that this run-down of new shows was meant to see the light of day at least 2 weeks ago, and that going into their 3^rd/4^th week some of these shows may not be as shiny and new as they were.  But, they’re definitely still worth talking about, and if you haven’t started watching them yet, here’s letting you know whether it’s even worth it.

Kings
Sundays, 8/7c on NBC

As Mo mentioned, it looks as if this delightful show is swiftly becoming one of our new favorites.  Now I know the minute most of you see the words “alternate reality”, your logical brain—along with any speck of interest—shuts off, as does mine.  But if you give it a chance, this “alternate reality” doesn’t bug as much as you might think.  So, in case you haven’t heard, Kings is a modern-day take on the biblical story of King David.  It takes place in the Kingdom of Gilboa, with its capital at Shiloh—more than strangely similar to a modern-day New York City—locked in an embittered war with the Kingdom of Gath, and reigned over by the charismatic King Silas Benjamin and his royal family (socialite Queen Rose, beautiful Princess Michelle, and ambitious, outwardly womanizing but secretly gay Prince Jack).  So besides the royal family, the story follows Captain David Shepherd (Biblical David tended the family’s sheep, wink wink) a soldier formerly on the front lines, but after a bold show of bravery, brought to court to serve as military liaison to the Royal Press Office (and unofficially, the love interest to the Princess). The script is sharp, the cast incredible, and the story promising.  Here’s hoping this one sticks around for good.  Catch the first four episodes here (or here if you prefer Hulu).  Believe me, it’s worth it.

Castle
Mondays, 10/9c on ABC

I generally harbor low expectations for most new shows, especially those with any sort of law enforcement storyline.  The cop show format has been done and redone so many times, they’ve all begun to look the same.  On the surface, Castle seems so as well.  It begins with Richard Castle, a famous and successful mystery novelist, enlisted by the NYPD to consult on the case of a copy-cat murderer pulling ideas from the pages of his books.  So you’re thinking, how are they gonna keep this ruse up?  The answer is, Castle (who recently killed off the main character from his moneymaking Storm series) decides to create a new character, based on (our leading lady) detective Kate Beckett, so he decides to shadow her to gather fodder.  Essentially, the show follows the same ol’ character pattern of a by-the-book uptight detective paired with a quirky, rule-breaking one (which in this case, isn’t actually a cop, but whatever) with enough auxiliary characters to keep things interesting, but whom we know very little about.  But the concept of a famous (and markedly overconfident) author, who with his celebrity influence and popularity can open doors closed even to the police force, as well as Nathan Fillion’s charming portrayal of Rick Castle make this worth a second look. Watch the first four episodes here, and keep an eye out for real-life novelists James Patterson and Steven J. Cannell, who make a brief appearance in the premiere.

Better Off Ted
Wednesdays, 8:30/7:30c on ABC

This series, from the creators of Arrested Development, is a new situational comedy about big-business ethics (or the lack thereof)—with the added oddity and quirkiness (and Portia de Rossi) that made AD so great.  It follows Ted Crisp, the head of R&D at a multinational corporation called Veridian Dynamics.  They develop seemingly impossible—and not always morally acceptable—products like beef without cows, and weaponized pumpkins. Unfortunately, the premiere of Better of Ted plays much like an inside joke that nobody’s let you in on.  It’s almost as if they began in the middle of the season of the show, expecting one to find the characters’ individual quirks charming and understand the relationships between them.  I really wanted to like this one, especially because the word on the internets is that it’s “original” and “has potential”, but it just didn’t do it for me.  But I have to admit, original is right, and it’s very possible that it might grow on me eventually, as well as improve over the season, so we shall see.  You can check it out here, and judge for yourself.  And this spot-on review from Variety (that’s much more articulate, and…better than mine.)

In the Motherhood
Thursdays, 8/7c on ABC

On the surface, an entire show about mothers and children—drama, comedy or otherwise—seems like it might only appeal to a certain demographic (i.e. mothers).   Such was my thought, assuming this web series adaptation would consist of endless un-funny jokes about diaper genies and mini-vans.  But good news, it’s more than just mom-friendly, and as an added plus, actually kinda funny.  Megan Mullally is possibly the best part of this show, in her element as the older, scheming, wise-cracking Rosemary (and in a character role rather than playing her vanilla-self on a talk show, thank goodness), and Rachel Harris is brilliant in a small, but hilarious role as Jane’s (Cheryl Hines) boss.  So if you can stand a half-hour of Cheryl Hines, as I mostly can, these two (along with Horatio Sans as the manny) definitely make it worth watching.  Check out the first two episodes of the ABC series here, and the webisodes here.

 
Cupid
Tuesdays, 10/9c on ABC

Again, mostly low expectations of this one, despite the fact that I adore Bobby Cannavale, and that the casting directors have pulled four actors from shows I’ve previously watched, that were cancelled (Sarah Paulson of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Rick Gomez of What About Brian, Camille Guaty of Las Vegas, and Cannavale from Will & Grace) to create this sort of cast-offs hybrid.  The concept (resurrected from an unsuccessful 1998 series of the same name, and basic concept) may seem a bit bizarre/sappy:  a man believing himself to be Cupid, the God of Love himself, comes to earth in order to bring 100 couples together before being allowed back to Mount Olympus. He runs in to a few hitches, one being the general cynicism about love in present-day New York, and specifically, a psychiatrist (and leader of a singles support group about relationships), Dr. Claire McCrae who’s convinced the Cupid complex is all in his head, and is plenty cynical about love herself.  In all, however, Cupid turned out to be quite charming, and delightfully entertaining.  And its infectious positivism is a welcome reprieve from the scores of depressing dramas and mindless reality shows populating our small screens.  See the first episode here.

 
So overall, my low expectations have mostly resulted in pleasant surprises thus far.  There’s no telling whether we have any nine-season-classic potential on our hands, but this mid-season pack is shaping up to be a whole lot better than usual.
 
Coming Soon:
The Tudors, returning (Showtime) – April 5^th
In Treatment, returning (HBO) – April 5^th
Surviving Suburbia (ABC) – April 6^th
Rescue Me, returning (FX) – April 7^th
The Unusuals (ABC) – April 8^th
Parks and Recreation (NBC) – April 9^th
Southland (NBC) – April 9^th
Harper’s Island (CBS) – April 9^th
Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire (Comedy Central) – April 9^th
State of the Union (Showtime) – April 12^th
Prison Break, returning (FOX) – April 17^th
Sit Down, Shut Up (FOX) – April 19^th
Who Do You Think You Are? (NBC) – April 20^th

Sweeping the Nation

Though our combined absence was actually due to Mo being South of the border, and Curly’s laziness/loneliness, we’re just gonna blame it all on February...er...March sweeps. Yes, it’s that time again. A few weeks later than usual, owing to the February 17th digital switchover, but it’s all the same to us. In technical terms sweeps refers to the four times a year Nielsen Media Research sends out surveys to households across the country to measure viewership in…blah blah blah. All we care about sweeps is that the networks blue-ball us for a week or so with repeats, then start whoring themselves out for ratings with new shows and ridiculous material on existing programs—extended episodes, plot twists, controversial topics, finales, etc. The dish…

Brothers & Sisters: A two hour special, hyped up by mid-Oscar commercials proclaiming “A BIRTH…A DEATH…” Fingers crossed it’s Tommy! (pretty sure it’s not)

Grey’s Anatomy: After two weeks of titillating (right) crossover episodes, Grey’s will be holding off till next Thursday, the 12th. They’ll continue to try and make us care again with the consequences from McD’s aneurysm snafu, and more ‘guess what illness is going to kill me like the ghost of my dead fiancée predicted’ with Izzie. Should be…uh…interesting. Or not.

Private Practice: Also off till next week, PP milks the seemingly never-ending Violet baby drama again. Who’s the baby daddy? Just tell us already so we can move on.

Desperate Housewives: You know it's going to be scandalous, and it's going to involve Bree/Orson. Let's leave it at that.

Survivor: Its existence is enough for the sweeps spike in ratings CBS needs, even after eighteen seasons. Go figure.

Nip/Tuck: Season finale, scandalous, shocking, yada yada.

Damages: Like this show needs any more plot twists. Business as usual.

Gossip Girl: Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg) is back for more, are we excited? Maybe.

Life: A new case about a soldier in LA on leave, and (hopefully) some interesting/shocking info about the ongoing conspiracy.

Medium: More of me hating Allison (sorry), “conflicting evidence” (surprise, surprise), and a missing child (another shocker).

Lost: A whole new crash, a revealed murderer, resurrection, this show always knows how to (over)do it right.

The Office: Finally, a new episode! (March 5th) And with how this season is going, should be gReat. This episode is entitled “Blood Drive”…now think of 5 ways this could go wrong, and there you go, a preview.

The Bachelor: The finale, and a hot mess of an after-show. More on this to come.

Upcoming Series Premieres:
Castle (ABC) - March 9
Kings (NBC) - March 15
Better Off Ted (ABC) - March 18
Cupid (ABC) - March 24
In The Motherhood (ABC) - March 28
Unusuals (ABC) - April 8
Parks and Recreation (NBC) - April 9

NOTE: Because of the altered sweeps schedule, some shows will be repeats this week and next. Here’s a heads up.

Thursday, March 5 - Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Smallville and Supernatural
Monday, March 9 - Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill
Tuesday, March 10, 17 & 24 - 90210
Tuesday, March 10 - NCIS, The Mentalist and Without a Trace
Wednesday, March 11 - Scrubs and Lost
Thursday, March 12 - My Name Is Earl
Monday, March 16 - Chuck, Heroes and Medium
Wednesday, April 1 - The New Adventures of Old Christine, Gary Unmarried, Criminal Minds and CSI: NY

Any shows we missed you wanna dish about? Let us know below…